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" Afraid of what?" I don't know," she said, absently and sadly. She paused. She rubbed her shins and then fiddled with her toenails. "I was afraid of a lot of things. But, then, I tried anyway. I was always afraid I'd never be smart enough to be a teacher. But fearing it, somehow, made me need to do it." Working on the delivery bike was like that. Physically, I'm not cut out for it. The other guys have an easier time of it. I came to that job and the first thing I learned was that I couldn't do it. All it did was make me want it."She made a wry little smile. "You don't belong there. You belong in the theater. You belong in creating and in doing. I wish you didn't want so much to be like everyone else. You're not like everyone else, Steven. You can't be and you shouldn't be. You can't be someone else and neither can I, despite how others might demand it and regardless of how much we might want it." She crushed her cigarette. "That's Ronnie's problem. She wants to be me, she wants the. “I’m just going to get a coffee with some of the girls from New Opportunity. It’ll be past curfew by the time I get down town, so you needn’t worry. See you later.”Stephen stepped off the path into the road to let her pass. Fara looked at him as some sort of curious oddity. He knew his wife had to put up with a lot of comments from Phyllis and her friends because of the way she chose to live her life. They were too polite to use any of the popular terms of abuse for a woman with a regular husband. Even so he guessed that Fara would be aware of his circumstances. He wouldn’t be surprised if she and her friends in New Opportunity had a good laugh at his expense. “Can you imagine? Married? Yeukk!” he thought of her saying.“Good evening, Mister Higgs,” she said as she drew level with him.Was the “Mister” sarcastic? Stephen wasn’t sure, but he just nodded in acknowledgement as she went by. He was careful not to do anything more. He knew he needn’t reply. The last thing he wanted was to be.
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